BEING SHORT SUCKS!!

I am a very short human. At 5’3″, I can as well be called a midget. Being short sucks, and here’s why.
When watching a movie or a play, your view always gets blocked by the person sitting in front of you.
So you won’t watch anything.
And when you all stand up to applaud the play, your view is blocked by the person in front of you’s neck, back or butt.
Going to a concert is a bad idea because the only thing you’ll see is the person in front of you.
You can never reach the top shelves without the help of a stool or a tall person.
Everything you want in a supermarket is always in the top shelf. You have to ask the attendants for help.
In a crowd, you get lost in people’s legs.
You also get lost in people’s armpits.
You can never be a model. Ever.
Well, unless you want to be a model for kids’ clothing.
When having a conversation with someone, you are always looking up, because when you look straight
ahead, chances are that you will be looking at their abdomen.
Meaning it’s hard making eye contact because the farthest you can see is their chin.
Which also means that your neck muscles will always be strained and painful.
Which then means that you’ll always have the smell of Deep Heat as your body odour.
Kids, especially teenagers, are way taller than you and it hurts.
And they ask what high school and what class you are in because they think you are one of them.
Meaning they’ll also hit on you.
You are always asked for your ID because you always look younger than your actual age.
Driving is a challenge.
You WILL look like a ball when you gain weight.
You are ever standing on your toes, especially when trying to participate in a conversation where all participants are standing.
Meaning your calf muscles get strained and painful.
Meaning that sometimes you’ll get a muscle pull.
You always go to the tailor to have your clothes “shortened” so that they can fit.
You can only swim on the side of the pool where kids swim because every other part of the pool, including
the shallow end, is deep end for you and you will drown.
When taking a group photo, you don’t have to squat like the rest of the people in the front row.
Hugging people is not fun because your head always gets buried in their stomach.
People assume your child is your baby brother or sister.
When you sit down, your feet do not touch the floor.
You can only give a blowjob while on the bed because when you kneel down, the farthest your face reaches is his knees.
And of course, people will always remind you that you are short. And that you have the Napoleon complex.

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Credit to Wanja Kavegi

Posted from WordPress for Aliens

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